Mom, where are you?

Over 3 years since your official diagnosis of Alzheimer's, mom. There have been many plateaus but recently a steep, sudden drop off and like Elise said "mom has gone over a cliff and is on a ledge somewhere." Where are you, mom? Are you still in there? Is any of YOU left? These are the questions I wrestle with every day and sob over until I am so weary. Can I reach you still? I have to try. I can't give up. I have to believe that some part of you in there still recognizes some of me. So, until you go to be with Jesus where you are once more whole, in body and mind, I will reach into you-as deep and far as I can-and try to reach whatever is left. "Though I am a wineskin in the smoke, I will not forget Your word." That is my prayer for you, mom, that even though your mind is shriveling, like a wineskin in the smoke, that God would recall His word to your mind, every day. I know His Holy Spirit has not withdrawn from you. I can't figure out how that all works but I know that He has said "I will never leave you or forsake you...." even in Alzheimer's.