Hope

"And hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us." Notice what this verse does NOT say: hope does not disappoint because everything in this life will work out the way we think it should or desperately want it to. Our hope is not anchored on what might be, or what should have been or what could have been had we not screwed it up but only what IS: God's love poured out graciously and abundantly in our hearts. And that is enough. His love. It's enough. I don't need for all of my messy relationships to end up neat and tidy. His love is enough. I don't need to be understood or to understand every misunderstanding. His love is enough. I don't need for people to like me, pursue me, think of me at all. His love is enough. I don't need to right all my wrongs, or even wish God would. His love is enough. That is the anchor of my hope. When I embrace this, I can let go of all the hurts, the anger, the wrongs, the misunderstandings, the assumptions, the regrets, the wishes, the "what ifs", the sadness, the pain....and I can embrace Him, and finally, others. Even the ones who have wounded me most deeply-especially those. If God's love is in my heart and I am to "keep myself in the love of God" and God can "direct our hearts" to His love, and "nothing can separate us from the love of God", then whatever it takes, I am ABLE, through God's power, to love even the betrayer, the wounder, realizing that I, too, am one. I am able to love completely, without reserve, without need for approval from man, without being understood or recognized. I am able to be wounded, and my hope remain intact. I am able to walk through life with much untidyness, being at peace with all men "as far as it depends on me", but at the same time realizing that it may well NOT depend on me and I may NOT always be at peace with all men-even believers, especially believers. And that is ok. I still have hope. God's love does not change and hope does NOT disappoint. I have always thought as a believer, that any uncleared relationships were sinful. At Hope we always had to have all relationships cleared up before we could take the Lord's supper. Well, what if the other person does not want to clear it up? What if they run from you? What if they hide for years? What if God's love, through you, can't get through to them? What if they are on their own path that only God knows and for a time, there won't be peace? Maybe even until heaven? What if THAT happens? It has now happened to me so many times that I am questioning the biblical wisdom of "you should always be at peace and reconciled with your brothers/sisters in Christ." What if you can't be? If that was true, there would be no need for the Romans verse "as far as it depends on you." We are only responsible for OUR part. I can't make someone else be reconciled to me. I can love them to the death. And they can still reject me and rebuff my love. That is THEIR part. This is such a freeing and astounding truth to me. I am free to love and free to walk away, and hope does not disappoint. I can't force people to want to be reconciled. That is the work of the Holy Spirit in their heart. All I can do is do my part and continue to love, even at a distance-if only through prayer. So....for all of you untidy packages in my life, I love you. I really do. I would be your friend this instant if you wanted it. Until that day, even if it is not until we stand before Christ, I will pray for you, and hope in God's love to reach you and speak to your hearts. And no matter the outcome, I won't be diappointed. It's a promise from God.