Stuck

Dear Mom: You have seemed to even out a little and I find myself not grieving as much. Don't know if that is good or bad-just necessary. I talk to you every day-some are better than others. Sometimes you jabber and I just sit and listen and try to affirm what to me is nonsense, but to you might not be. Whatever is left inside, I want to encourage that. Sometimes a familiar phrase or two will leak out "love you, honey." Or "I don't believe I will", or another phrase you have used your whole life. It helps me know "you" are still there and brings comfort. It is the Christmas season and the strangest one of my life. First year for us to not put up a tree. First year I have not "freaked out" about getting everything ready and organized. I am learning. Christmas is about Jesus-Him alone-minus all the trimmings. He is enough. I am realizing that our family does not need all the trappings. We surely have enjoyed them over the years but for this year, let's just be together and laugh and not worry about all the extraneous stuff-shall we, mom? Let's just enjoy these days, for they go by so quickly and I want to milk each one for all it's worth.