Mom

Finding out my mom probably has Alzheimers has to take one of the top spots for painful experiences in my life. Seeing her struggle to remember things, slowly lose interest in things she has done since childhood and that she has enjoyed her whole life, seeing simple tasks become painstakingly slow as she fumbles around in her fuzzy brain trying to figure out how to do them, or why she is doing them-it is almost more than I can bear. Yet "I will never leave thee or forsake thee"-even in this, Jesus is there to hold my hand-and hers, and to wrap all of us in His everlasting arms of strength so that we will not fall apart. Looking for recipes this morning, I came across one written in her own handwriting, not so long ago. She signed it "love mom" with a little cartoonish heart which is her signature. She is a great artist-has always loved to draw. This is one talent of hers that passed me by in the gene selection. I have always wanted to draw and paint like she can. Maybe she still has it in her in some capacity-maybe not. It is not her, I have to remind myself, just something she did. But realizing that soon, not just what she did but who she is will fade into the night and she will be gone is something I just cannot fully get my heart around just yet. I still want to soak her up-all that is left right now, until that day. "Tomorrow has enough trouble of its own"-amen and amen. Let's "juice" today (as my 16 year old would say).