Gifts

I was focusing on moving once again this morning-mourning it in my heart-this giving up of living in Austin-death of a vision. I decided I needed to focus on God's attributes and the next one was "good". Talking about God's good gifts got me thinking of all the good ones He provided here in Austin. I realized I have been thinking that by moving, I am having to give up those gifts when in reality-they are mine to keep forever. God does not retract His gifts. For example: one gift was the provision for my girls-ballet, piano, choir, etc...the "gift" was not the class or teachers or lessons but what it accomplished in my girls' lives-and they will have that forever-it is part of who they are. Another gift would be our church/ministries-Awana, Mission Possible, etc...I look at all that has done for my girls' walks with God and my own walk and I see that is something that is eternal-the investment of people into our lives and our investment into theirs is something that will last for eternity. I do not have to give that up. The gift of living in this neighborhood where I have so many sweet memories of spending family time, time with the girls, homeschooling them, swimming, hiking the trails, swim team, etc....it is what has made us who we are as a family and who they are as people-that will not end. They will not stop being those people when we move. We will not lose our memories-we will just not be able to make any new ones here. This is profound. I have been thinking of leaving in terms of loss instead of in terms of what we are taking with us from this place and this time in our lives: a boatload of memories, character, experiences that have made us who we are and will continue to have effect long into the future. Wow. What a shift. If God did that here-He can do it anywhere. It isn't about your surroundings but rather what you choose to make out of them. A city does not make a person-a person lets God shape them, using the tools at hand-God can use anyone, anything, any place to shape and to mold. Please use San Angelo to do just this, God.

Passing

I have entered a new phase in life: the phase of adult children (at least one adult child). It is the passing of a torch, complete with celebrations and mournings-a new era complete with new rules. Rachel has graduated from high school, has been 18 for 6 months and is in the midst of her first full-time job. However much I want to hold her down and hold her to me, I must release her to fly out into this big world and make mistakes all her own and experience successes all her own (of course God is always in all things). It is an exhilirating and exhausting time, this letting go. Memories float through my mind at the most random times, reminding me of this precious little girl I had for 18 years. Then new hopes surge past at what an incredible woman she is becoming and how exciting it is going to be to walk with her through the rest of her life-albeit from more of a distance. There really are no words to express all the feelings-you just have to be a parent and have your child graduate or leave for college or join the army or some other rite of passage. It both stinks and smells so sweet.